Nobody with ADHD wants to be defined by it. There are many other factors which have shaped their lives. Everyone has different temperaments and have had varied life experiences. Everyone has different talents and interests. ADHD maybe a part of a person; but it is not the whole picture.

However there can be times when ADHD, unmanaged, denied or misunderstood can feel in control. To varying degrees, most people with ADHD continue to have core difficulties with impulsivity, organization, distractibility and emotional regulation.

When in school, a job, a course, or situation that does not suit the ADHD brain’s unique way of working, these difficulties can result in the person being viewed by friends, colleagues, or teachers, as lazy, scatty, chaotic, confrontational etc. ADHD traits can start to over-shadow talents and creativity defining the person in an unhelpful way.

Although ADHD people have tremendous “bounce back ability”, as sensitive souls, they often absorb these negative views. Further confidence can be lost with every silly mistake or dead-line trauma experienced. Even with a multitude of talents, all too many people with ADHD give up on themselves, and their aspirations, because the hoops they have to jump through do not suit their style of learning or the tasks are too big and intangible to know where to start. Many ADHD children, young people and adults become frustrated, aggressive, avoidant, depressed and, or anxious.

Most people with ADHD are already acutely aware of their core difficulties; they have tried various strategies and have learnt that willpower alone does not overcome their stumbling blocks. Nobody can will away a neurobiological difference; a practical way forward is needed.

People with ADHD are all too aware of what they should be doing; the problem lies in managing to do it.

Coaching differs in that it deals with the here and now, it is practical and directive. It is about action, not reflection. The process of coaching involves focusing on, and completing goals in an agreed time-scale. Typical goals are around school-work, finances, work changes, diary planning, and university coursework - as well as car keys!

People with ADHD often have a hard time pursuing big or abstract goals. The role of the coach is therefore to break goals down into a sequence of smaller more manageable tasks. The coach will also agree time-scales and keep attention aroused and focused until the goal is completed. This is done by regular phone and e-mail check-ins; around three a week. Face to face meetings are normally weekly.

The coach acts as an external time keeper to make up for deficits in the ADHD person’s difficulty with time management and procrastination. Instead of the ADHD person’s internal damaging nagging guilt, the coach uses “good guilt”, acting as reminder, helper and encourager.

Coaching is centered on the theory of increasing returns: helping the ADHD person to stay focused and deals practically with their difficulties so that they can achieve their goal, which creates greater confidence. This confidence is the internal driving force for further change that becomes more self-sustaining with every success.

Coaching helps mitigate against the difficulties of ADHD so that we can realize our goals, use our talents, and enjoy the positive ADHD features we have to our advantage.